Ive been sulking a lot lately because i feel that I'm part of the whole anymore. My absences isn't charming ether but i just wanted open arms and smiling faces. I feel so out of place, I never know the out come of things, i feel unintelligent around the solid crew. I look to my left and right in selfishness and complaint because i wish i had the relationship with god the way he does, or i wish my out come of life would shine like hers. I had to slap myself in the face and realize that my relationship with the lord is strong. I'm still getting to know him more cause i sent my entire walk since 15 making god get to know me, but he was already there! I imagine how boring it must be for some one to tell you over and over and over about them self's and there situations and you already know.
That's why God is so amazing because he continue to help me knowing that i was fragile,he didn't slap me with reality with i was weary , he still listen to what i had to say and nerchared me. So god i thank you for what you've done in my life and im so thankful that your the father i never had. God help me to ignore my self when i get jealous or envious, God i don't care that probably no one reads this ...at all, that i do inform but i still ignored, God you are the only one that matters and im thankful that your reading this i love you and forgive me for my ugliness and wishing to be someone different you love me for who i am and im so thankful for it!
Amen
Brandon
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