Well last night i had an big hit from god. A big hit of reality and truth. Lately ive been giving God the ultimate lip service, and unconnected voice. I loose all my focus all my connection with him and it made me realize last night at Robyn's house, John spoke that night about repentance and it hit on me every word, and then i note, the reason why im in a blurr, not connected or just hazy with god is because im not doing my half
I pray when people are in prayer, i worship when someone else is leading and and i repent went I've done something really bad. God doesnt deserve that, he deserves so much better. God put me in a reality last night and more or less a personification, he made me see that , say if i was helping some one who came to me for help and that all he would do is beg for this and beg for that and i'd give it to him, and smile, and then he runs off.
Every now and then he comes back asking for more help and more things and i still grant it to him, then he runs off, and when he does talk to me he spends all him time talking about himself and his needs and wants, hurts and happiness and etc. I know him so well but he doesn't know me and I'm hurting because all i do is help this person and he runs away every time.
That's God and I, he helps me so much and i run. Granted its a little dramatic but its close. And he made me realize how bad that would hurt me, and realized WOW thats how god feels, and it broke me down. So Im going to a 30 day blogged repentance to get me into a routine with prayer, reading the bible, worship, and most of all REPENTANCE!
So Lord i pray for a return back to you, to a soild relationship and a HUGE foucs to you, and notice to shut my mouth and listen to you. Father forgive me for my laziness , and for me being selfish and not thinking of others. God for taking wrong steps in my walk that leads to distraction and failure. God your my all and you do so much for me and you understand me like no one else so im giving you my full attention and god guide me through this again lord, so i can jump on the refresh button.God forgive me for not being responsible with this family im living with. I have to realize that im an adult and not an teenager and i have to grow up and take care of my responsibilities to i pray that you help me thought this.
Amen
-Brandon
